by Miram

December 14, 2009

“The Power of Positivity can extrude Negativity”
-Miram-

Hey Everybody ***Smiles***, I’m back to share more of my JUICY stories. As you’re probably already thinking, “She’s fierce!!” (LOL). Well, after reading this journal you’ll be convinced I’M FIERCE. Today I want to shine some light on the ruthless and severe struggles I have encountered, which have truly made me who I am today, literally! This story is goosebumpingly shocking. (People who know what I’ve been through find it hard to believe I’m still alive)…

As you know, I’m an Egyptian Muslim girl who was born in New Jersey, but what you didn’t know about me was the “cruelty” of childhood. The “impossible to believe childhood,” and Yes! I’m talking about the worst part of life because of how people made me feel helpless, alone and miserable. For half of my life I was tormented, badly teased, discriminated, hated, despised and abused by everybody who knew I was a Muslim girl. 9-11 changed my life and really made things unbearable for me.

As a little kid who didn’t see anything wrong with herself I was treated like a terrorist and radical. (I hate to say this, but even the black kids hated me.) I was the only Egyptian Muslim girl at my school and apparently that wasn’t good enough. Everybody hated me, people wanted to kill me, and others went out of their way to really break me. I was the girl who had textbooks thrown at my face; I was spat at, beat up, jumped, threatened and was treated like I was “subhuman”. I was the girl who ate alone everyday at the lunchroom and had food thrown at me (food fights). I was the girl who people tried to run over (with their cars), who got buried in snow and had my house egged, I was the girl who’d walk down the hall and heard every discriminatory, racist cruel word there ever was, every literal second. I was called a sand ndigger, camel jockey and terrorist. I was told I belonged in hell and I don’t deserve to live. I had people kick me, slap me and say to me, “immigrant, bitch, slut, whore, cunt, towel head, shit stain and you should be deported. I had no life and I felt as if I was badly shattered. I would cry myself to sleep and throw tantrums at myself for not being the perfect blonde white girl who had all the friends in the world.

Even though it continued to happen through 11th grade, I never let any of it get to my surface. (and my God was it hard)… I got involved in every sport I could, which helped lift my self-esteem and feelings. I played basketball, softball, field hockey, swimming, volleyball, and ice hockey. I got involved in club activities to stay positive and went to a recreational boys and girls club. I stayed so strong and did whatever I felt was going to break me “out of my shell.” When I was younger, I was shy and never felt I deserveved a voice, I was a speechless girl wrapped around all the negative words that were said to me. I was the girl who even after all this happened, stayed optimistic, constructive and active; in order to keep my mind off of the misery I was dealing with. I was taken out of my shell from the minute I knew, “No-one thought I was good enough”

Today, I am the most powerful person I know. I’m so appreciative of the fact that I went through that because if it weren’t for it, I would be weakest person I know and not the strongest. I am the girl who never says No! I am the girl who’d make you give up, I am the girl who’s now called a “Triple Threat.” I am the girl who they say is miraculous.

Everybody who knows me now and knows what I’ve been through, no longer questions why I’m a Wonder Woman, a Superstar, impossible to describe, passionate, a fighter, Strong, a leader, powerful and intense… I am pretty intense lol but only in a good way. I am who I am because of my past and I wouldn’t change a single thing, because I am what I am for being brave, strong, thick skinned, and most important influential

P.S I’m the girl you’ll never be able to duplicate! God Bless!!!!! <3