Listen to Your Gut
Every girl has an inner monologue that defines who she is and guides her actions. If you feel out of your comfort zone, you may not be listening to yours. Think about how your single self would have imagined your coupled self as behaving. If you’re going against that, it may be time to slow down. Trust your instincts — you know what is right for you.

Do Your Thing
Now that you’re in a relationship, you have to think about someone else’s feelings almost as much as you do your own. But it’s still important to always be yourself, and not just someone’s girlfriend. You may be feeling like you are moving too fast because you’re spending all your free time with the other person. You can’t forget to do what you love to do. Take a class you’ve always wanted to, or read that book you’ve been meaning to read. Doing stuff for yourself will only make the both of you stronger.

Be a Friend
You’ve got to be yourself and you’ve got to be there for your sweetie, but you can’t forget about your friends. They’re the ones who were there before and will be there if there’s an after. But it’s easy to become all wrapped up in love and forget about everyone else who’s important to you. Spend some time with your girls — they know the real you and will help keep you from doing things that you’re not ready for. And, of course, they would love to see you!

Be Honest
You should be able to tell your honey how you feel. Everything may seem perfect on the outside and you may think that saying you want to slow things down will ruin it. But if he’s worth it, he’ll know that you’re worth the wait. It may sound cheesy, but if he respects you, he will go at your pace. And remember, just because you may not be ready to be completely attached at the hip or to experiment sexually doesn’t mean that you two can’t have a blast really getting to know each other.

c/o cosmogirl.com ]]> http://www.tobeastar.com/how-to-slow-down/feed/ 0 http://www.tobeastar.com/top-10-signs-hes-flirting-with-you/ http://www.tobeastar.com/top-10-signs-hes-flirting-with-you/#comments Sat, 28 Nov 2009 23:35:40 +0000 Donna Barnes http://www.tobeastar.com/?p=497 1. The Eyebrow Lift

When a guy first sees a girl he’s attracted to, chances his eyebrows will rise and fall. Quickly.
(You can slip the flip of an eyebrow back at him, if you’re interested – it’s a clear signal both ways.)

2. Gaining Your Attention

Exaggerated movements or gestures usually mean that he’s trying to stand out from the crowd.
He may shift positions so that he is standing slightly apart from his friends or a group of people.

3. Slight Parting of the Lips

His lips may automatically part for a second when your eyes first meet.

4. His Nostrils Open Slightly – Face Widens

As his eyebrows raise and nostrils flare slightly so with the parted lips, he has an open, friendly expression on his face.

5. He Shifts to the Classic Male Courship Stance

The macho stance (cowboy style) – he’ll probably lock his thumbs in his belt or belt loops, point his fingers downwards, spread his legs about shoulder distance apart and tilt his head to one side.

6. Touches His Own Face

He may rub his chin, brush his cheek with the back of his fingers or touch his ears.
(He may not realize this is a combination of nerves and unconscious preening behavior.)

7. Strokes His Shirt Front, Smoothes his Jeans

More unconscious preening – smoothing a shirt sleeve, tie, shirt pocket.
(The equivalent of the female lip lick.)

8. Fiddles with His Hair

He may smooth or tussle his hair involuntarily and more often than you might realize – again preening for you…

9. Eyebrows Arc While Talking

He may, accidentally, exhibit a slightly surprised expression with slightly raised eyebrows – which means he is interested in you.
(Forget the guy who looks at you with a smooth, relaxed brow and eyes – he thinks you’re boring. You probably think he’s boring so drop your eyebrows and more on.)

10. Sock Adjustment

If a guy pulls up or adjusts his socks in your presence, it’s an almost 100 per cent sign he’s interested and trying to look his best. The big preening signal…

c/o links2love.com

There are three extremely trying times to choose the right clothes for the occasion: job interviews, first dates and meeting the parents nights. First date dressing is tough because you usually don’t know the other person well enough to predict what will be attractive to him. You want to look fabulous but not unattainable, chic but not cheap. Add to the problem that you may or may not be familiar with where you are going, and you have the perfect explanation for women who choose to stay home in a chenille robe with a bottle of Two-Buck Chuck and a box of microwave kettle corn.

Let’s go over some first date dress basics. Maybe you’ll get lucky and I’ll have an idea you haven’t already considered.

Any ideas on where you going on your first date?

If you can, have a conversation with your date to find out where you’re going. But be simple with your questions to make sure you dont’ sound to controlling. This will help immeasurably, even if you can just get a sense of the formality of the occasion. A good tip is it’s always better to be a little overdressed. We’ve all at some time or another ended up at the baseball game in a frilly, walk-in-the-park sundress, which beats hell out of going to see Itzhak Perlman wearing skateboarding pants (which happened to me once).

Advice On Shoes: Comfortable vs. Sexy

Find out if you will be walking, and if so, how far. If the guy’s at all exercise or nature oriented, double or triple the estimate he gives you and you’ll probably come close to the truth. (And if he flat-out lies about how far the walk is, don’t go out with him a second time. Use this estimate to choose the durability and support of your shoes, and if you aren’t confident, pack along some cuter, (invariably less comfortable) shoes in a bag.

The Little Black Dating Dress

If you’re having the classic dinner date in a place created to impress women on first dates, the choice is simple. There is no substitute for the little black dress (known in fashion circles as LBD). It is equivalent to the men’s fashion outfit: the classic dark grey suit. If you don’t have one of these must-haves, get out the catalogs, visit your favorite designer on-line and choose the version that suits you best.
Add a purse, pumps and stole to match, and there you have it. For premium wearability, your LBD should be of medium length, and although the classic is sleeveless (meant to be worn with opera-length gloves), choose the sleeve length based on your comfort.

The little black dress saw Audrey Hepburn’s character through most of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t wear yours to parties, first dates and anytime you want to feel absolutely classic. Vary your jewelry and accessories, and you can wear it to work, for lunch in the park, shopping with the girls and dancing with the boys (or the other way ’round, if you prefer).

The Coffee or Lunch Day time Date

If your date has read the advice columns that say to take the pressure off by having a coffee date or a daytime date, you can expect to dress more casually. In this case, it doesn’t much matter what you wear (as long as it’s neat and put-together), because you already know they guy is either nervous or non-committal. In the first case, you can graciously put him at ease: in the second, you can keep him guessing.

Choice of the low-impact date does not indicate a man’s potential as a long-term romance. Cheapskates and guys who aren’t sure they want to “really” date will choose the daytime scenario because it’s simple and cheap. They get exposure without investment. Nice guys and shy guys will choose this date because of its low-drama possibilities. They get to be with you without having to act like Cary Grant. Nice guys and shy guys will either up the ante or wait quietly in agony for you to express interest in seeing them again. Cheapskates will expect you to pay for your own coffee. Non-committal guys will say they’ll call you, then won’t.

I want to add an aside about the coffee comment above. I struggled with this question for years, and paid for a lot of coffee (and dated several cheapskates) until I figured out the flaw in the feminist tao. You see, feminists are expected to buy their own stuff, and sometimes the guy’s stuff too, in order to show how liberated we really are. The mindset is, if you’re going to be “freer” than non-feminists, you should expect to pay your own way. The fact is, if you adhere to this policy, you will be less free than other women because you will have less money. The other important fact to consider is that women still earn about 60% of what their male counterparts earn. Until we’re paid equally, men should always buy the coffee.

There is a creepy idea (often unspoken, often assumed) that if a woman in not planning to become sexually involved with a man, she should pay half. If you ask me, that’s selling sex pretty cheap. I say, forget all that crap and hang out with guys who don’t have a problem buying your coffee and dinner or waiting until you’re good and ready before making any moves on you. Besides all that, if you’re dating because you’re looking for a commitment, you want a guy who’s going to be willing and able to pay on a mortgage, and later, for child support. His willingness to shell out $2.50 for a latte is a very slight indicator of his potential, but it’s better than nothing.

Who Should Pay on the First Date? Guy vs. Girl

Although you shouldn’t expect to pay for things on a first date, bring along plenty of available funding. At least enough for cab fare home.

If you think he’s the sincere type and you want to show that you like him (without saying anything scary like, “I like you”), you might add an element to your daytime-date outfit that you don’t wear every day just to acknowledge that something nice is happening on this day. Wear a pair of pants one shade nicer than what you usually wear, or trade walking shoes for pumps. Don’t make big changes in makeup, though. Men have definite feelings about and reactions to make-up, and if your face looks noticeably different, he will become frightened and disoriented.

Wedding and Special Occassion Party Dates

Part of the way we judge a potential relationship is by the events we attend together. In straight relationships, going to a wedding with a date is an automatic increase in that relationship’s potential intimacy, if the man has invited the woman along. If the woman invites the man and he’s not ready for the commitment of witnessing someone else’s commitment, he will either decline, bail at the last minute, or attend with great discomfort and break off the relationship soon after.

In same or opposite-sex couples, asking someone to attend a wedding with you is a bold maneuver to be taken on only if you’re sure your relationship is ready for it, or if you want the other person to break up with you. (A sit-com scenario. Someone asks a woman, “What do you say if you want to get rid of a guy?” Her answer: “I say, ‘I love you and I want to have your babies’”.

If you get asked to a wedding on a first date, you’re either with a social inept, a potential stalker, someone who’s been in love with you from afar for ten years, someone who thinks it’ll be a good way to get laid, or someone who has nothing left to lose. For these reasons, I would not accept such a first date, eliminating the need for discussing what to wear at such a debacle.

Dates to Baseball or Sporting Event Games

Jeans or chinos, a hat, layers, and bring a thick sweater if you live near the sea. Nothing too sexy, nothing that can’t be washed if you have beer spilled on you or if you sit in gum.

The Sleaze Factor: Don’t Dress Too Sexy

It’s tempting to dress as sexy as the magazine models, but in the harsh light of day or the romantic candlelight of evening, it rarely works out that way. Sexy has a way of turning sleazy when you least expect it. The artistry of dressing to impress means utilizing restraint, so save the micro-minis and see-through tops for those rumpus-filled evenings at home and opt for looking pretty in public.

c/o freebeautytips.org

Dating safety is even more important to focus on than ever before, as crimes like date rape are growing in number. While most single women crave romance, it’s important for singles to be careful about who they date, the information they give to their date and other private information they choose to share with someone they’ve just met. With online dating services like the Match.com site and eHarmony bringing a new sense of privacy and technology to the dating process via the Internet, it’s vital for singles to not only rely on what someone says in their personals profile and use their common sense for ultimate dating safety.

Use these dating safety tips and advice before and during your date:

Preparing For Your Date

Whether you meet your date in the grocery store or got to know each other via chat, online ads and other online ways to communicate, it’s important to prepare for the date with safety in mind. While security and protection might be the last thing on your mind as you are excited for the date, it’s important to protect yourself from a possible scam artist or bona fide jerk. Before the date, do a quick online investigation to be sure your date isn’t wanted for a crime or to ensure no other unknown bad news is posted online about him. If you find anything disturbing, simply cancel the date.

Security Items

While it may seem ridiculous to you, stashing a can of pepper spray (or even a pepper spray disguised as a discreet lipstick) or other security item in your purse before the date might be a great idea. You never know what type of person you’ll be meeting and being prepared can make a difference if things go sour.

Meeting Your Date

It’s a great idea for you not to disclose where you live to a date, especially until you get to know him better. While your father would likely die knowing a date didn’t pick you up at your house, it’s safer for you to maintain your privacy and meet in public. So, for the first few dates (at least) be sure to plan public meetings and be sure your date doesn’t follow you home afterward.

Affectionate Dates

If you happen to be on a date with an affectionate man who is moving way too quickly for you, be sure to take note. If your date’s advances make you feel uncomfortable, you should firmly tell your date their behavior is bothersome. If you feel in danger, be sure to call the authorities or a friend to meet you immediately at the place of your date and refuse to go on another date with this person in the future.

It’s always a good idea to pre-arrange for a friend to call during the date to ensure you’re safe. Coming up with a keyword phrase is a good way for you to let your friend know you’re ok or not ok while chatting on the phone. While it may seem rude to use your phone during the date, it’s a good idea for a first date for you to have someone check in with you. Also, remember your gut instincts are usually right about people, so follow them!

While these dating security tips might seem a little overboard, the truth is there are many men out there willing to take advantage of single women. This is especially true if they know the female hasn’t been out into the dating world for long. So, keep yourself safe and protected by being prepared in advance and while on your date!

c/o freebeautytips.org

Women have used flirting to attract men for centuries. From the batting of the eyelashes in times before to the five second eye lock used often today, men often can’t resist the flirting temptations put out by women. Flirting makes it easy for women to give men signals of interest, without making them actually say they are interested. While many women still use a suggestive double entendre to make their move, others use flirting power maneuvers to get what they want. If you’re not a confident flirter, use these tips to help you feel more comfortable with approaching those you’re interested in getting to know better.

Tips to use to become a confident flirter:

1. Be Clear
Women often assume men know what their signals mean, however men are traditionally really bad at interpreting signals from women. So, when you’re flirting with a handsome guy you’re interested in dating be sure your signals are loud and clear. Remember, it’s pretty rude to flirt with someone just for the fun of it unless you already know each other. Be sure if you’re flirting with a stranger you genuinely want to get to know them better. Say what you mean and mean what you say!

2. Smile When Your Flirt
Men are naturally drawn to women who like to have fun and who wear a smile. Practice entering every room with a smile on your face and notice how much more attention you’ll get from the males in the place. When you’re in the mood for some flirting, be sure to keep it positive and smile. When you feel great about yourself and portray a sense of happiness, others will feel great about you too.

3. Flirting Props
If you have a difficult time approaching people and want men to approach you instead, you may need to rely heavily on a flirting prop. Flirting props are items you can carry to get people to notice you. The key to these being effective is to choose something which will get you attention but not something which will get you unwanted or negative attention from men. For example, a fun scarf or piece of jewelry might be a great way to try this tip out.

4. Go It Alone
While going out alone might not be the safest idea in today’s world of dating, while you are out with your friends you should separate yourself from them a bit to seem more approachable by men. Men might feel too intimidated to approach you if you’re with a group of rowdy girls and might feel as if he would be rejected not only by you but a whole group of women. So, take every opportunity to venture to the pool table, bar or patio alone for a few moments at a time.

5. Be Fearless When Single
Unless you are painfully shy, a good flirt should feel comfortable approaching a man she has her eye on. Approximately 95% of single men love to be approached by women, as it strokes their ego. So, give it a try!

6. Be You for a Great First Impression
People today are looking for authenticity so when you are out and about, be sure to be yourself. If you act like someone you’re not, your guy will find out sooner or later. So, start things off right and just be yourself from the beginning.

c/o freebeautytips.org